Over the weekend we spent some time at the lake house and guess what we found in the shed, covered in dust: an old, but futuristic looking car. Turns out it’s a DeLorean, just like the one in the Back to the Future movies! When we were trying to start it up we somehow ended up in 2020… and guess what our first thing to do was?
Checking out how to blog with WordPress 7.0! :) The following is a discussion between a site owner and his WordPress install, whose name is Jarvis (yes, people still remember Iron Man in 2020). Warning: sleep deprivation and drinking too much coffee can cause hallucinations and can make you post crazy things on your company blog just like the following imaginary dialogue!
– Hi, JarvisWP.
– Good evening, Sir.
– How are you doing? Did anything interesting happened while I was away?
– I’m fine, thanks. I hope you had a relaxing vacation, Sir. It’s been more than two weeks since you were last blogging. Your readers can’t wait to see the new posts.
– That’s good to hear, I love my readers! It’s high time to publish something cool. I already wrote the post on my way home on the plane. You can find it on my phone in the ‘Notes’ folder. File name is ‘Holiday’.
– Roger that, Sir. Searching.
– We’ll need some nice high-resolution images of Hawaii. It’s a wonderful place by the way, you should have seen it! Have you found the file?
– Yes, Sir. Did you mean ‘Holiday Adventures’ or ‘My First Impression of Hawaii’?
– The second one. We’ll post adventures tomorrow.
– I’ve inserted the text and formatted headings and subheadings, Sir.
– Great. We’ll need a featured image. I was thinking about something typical Hawaiian, like girls in hula skirts, cocktails, beach, sunshine. Let’s find a creative common image on Flickr.
– Already searching. Flickr is so slow again, Sir.
– I know, Jarvis, I know. I hope their developers will figure out soon how to change it for the better.
– Sir, based on your definition I’ve found two high res images. Both are in the collection of Andrew Davis, an amateur photographer. Let me show them.
– Very good, this guy is truly talented. Please resize the first one – with the beach on it – and set it as a featured image. And paste the second one – the one with the hula girls – before the fourth paragraph.
– Working on it.
– Oh, and don’t forget to link them to Andrew’s Flickr profile page; set the image credit, please.
– Done, Sir.
– In the first paragraph I mentioned last year’s vacation in Rio, please link the post we wrote about it back then.
– But Sir, you travelled to South Africa last year, the Rio holiday was already two years ago.
– Ah, you’re right, Jarvis. How rapidly time passes! Please correct the year in the text. Also, before I forget, are there many new comments for me to read?
– I analyzed 4534 comments over the past 12 days, of which I considered 4427 as a spam and deleted them. Spammers’ methods are getting more and more sophisticated so 1-2 of them may have come through my system, but I’m 97% sure that the remaining 107 comments are from real users. By your leave, Sir, I updated Yoast and W3 Total Cache plugins two days ago to the newest versions available.
– Good job, Jarvis! I like that you can manage these tasks by yourself. My friend, Dave, made a video of our scuba-diving and uploaded it to Youtube yesterday. His username is DaveTheBeast, could you please search for the video?
– Found it. Its length is 14 min 34 sec. Would you prefer linking the text which refers to it, or embedding it?
– I think we should embed it, a video always makes a post better, it was a good adventure anyway, we even videotaped a shark.
– I’m glad you didn’t get hurt, Sir. Shark is very dangerous according to Wikipedia.
– Don’t worry, Jarvis. That one belonged to a non-threatening species. How was the income while I was away?
– You received $354.78 from Google Adsense and your email list has grown to 34 subscribers. Your blog has 22 new Twitter followers and 45 new Facebook fans.
– Not bad, but we still could be better. You can find 56 pictures from Hawaii on my phone, please create a photo gallery and upload them.
– Yes, Sir, working on it. Are you sure you’d like to publish all of them?
– Yes, why are you asking?
– Because the last seven images were taken the night before your travel in the pub by the beach, and there are too many empty glasses on the table.
– Oh shi… thanks Jarvis. We had a great time that night. In case anyone’s asking… they’re not us, just lookalikes. Okay, don’t publish these seven images, we might use them later.
– Gallery is ready, Sir. I added ‘holiday’ and ‘Hawaii’ tags to the post.
– Thanks. Also, don’t forget ‘beach’ and ‘fun’ tags. And please check the content once again, there may be some typos left.
– Alright. Anything else, Sir?
– I think that’s it for now. Wait, the bell’s ringing. Do you know who it is?
– Your pizza’s arrived, Sir. Today is Tuesday, pizza-night. By your leave, Sir, I ordered it for you.
– I don’t know what I would do without you. Many thanks, Jarvis.
– You’re welcome. Go eat before it gets cold. I’ll publish the post, tweet it and share it on Facebook. Jarvis out.
How do you imagine blogging with WordPress 7.0 will be like? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section below!
